


Con-Con

by Anyawen



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 007 Fest 2020, 27th annual con-con, Crack, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Villain day, evil team:villains is evil, programme of events, ransom fic, team00
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyawen/pseuds/Anyawen
Summary: Villains need to network, too.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 21





	Con-Con

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2020 007 fest Villain Day, as part of Team00's payment to the evil villains to ransom back kidnapped Q-Branch minion Arami QB-A1.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Welcome, fiends, scoundrels, and psychopaths, to the 27th Annual Con-Con.

Our programme offers several lectures and seminars from top names in the villain underworld. Pick and choose which events to attend to customize and get the most out of your Con-Con experience.

  
|   
---|---  
  
**FRIDAY  
5-6:45 PM**  
_Registration/Check in_  
  
**7-10 PM**  
_Networking_ \- in the Lounge (cash bar)  
  
**SATURDAY  
8-9:45 AM**  
_Breakfast_ \- in the Lounge  
  
**10-11:45 AM**  
_So You Want To Be a Villain_ \- in Conference Room A  
  
  
|  Villainy comes in all shapes and sizes, and at all levels. Mischief? Destruction? Domination? Find out where you fit in the grand scheme of things.   
  
_Monologuing for Dummies_ \- in Conference Room Green  
  
  
| You’ve gone through a lot of trouble and effort to put your schemes in motion. We’ll teach you how to present your plan to the nay-sayers who try to stop you. A demonstration of useful props will be included.   
  
_Gadgets of Domination_ \- in Conference Room 6  
  
  
| Lasers, and rockets, and bombs - oh my! In all seriousness, it’s about choosing the right tool for the job.   
  
**12-1:45 PM**  
_Lunch_ \- in the Lounge  
  
**2-3:45 PM**  
_Pet Care_ \- in Conference Room Green  
  
  
| Whether your mascot is a furry feline princess, a giant, man-eating komodo dragon, ravenous, toothy fish, or the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, we'll be sure you're prepared for responsible pet ownership.   
  
_Starting Small_ \- in Conference Room 6  
  
  
| Taking over the local govt on your way to world domination.   
  
_Lair Decor_ \- in Conference Room A  
  
  
| Volcano? Oubliette? Beaded curtains? Shark tank? Let us help you decide.   
  
**4-5:45 PM**  
_Financing Your Empire Goals_ \- in Conference Room A  
  
  
| Equipment and staff to execute your plans don’t come cheap. Let us teach you how to acquire the funds you’ll need. Will cover various methods including bank robbery, irradiating gold stores, and hacking your way to millions.   
  
_Jello Wrestling_ \- in Conference Room 6  
  
  
| Not your normal spectacle, the Con-Con is pleased to offer ring-side seats to alligator wrestling - in jello.   
  
_Ensuring Loyalty_ \- in Conference Room Green  
  
  
| Whatever you call them - staff, minions, peeps, plebs - you require their loyalty. We’ll show you how to get it, and keep it.   
  
**7 PM**  
_Dinner_ \- in the Lounge  
  
**9-11:45 PM**  
_Masquerade Ball_ \- in the Auditorium

_Cards Against Humanity_ \- in the Lounge  
  
**SUNDAY  
8-9:45 AM**  
_Breakfast_ \- in the Lounge  
  
**10-11:45 AM**  
_Obstacle course/Target practice_ \- on the hotel grounds  
  
  
| Put your reaction times to the test as you race through our obstacle course, taking out appropriate targets as they jump out at you. [Spoiler alert: you’re a VILLAIN. All targets are appropriate. Take them ALL out.]   
  
_Seduce Your Way to Success (special guest lecturer)_ \- in Conference Room A  
  
_Effective Threats_ \- in Conference Room 6  
  
  
| Physical violence isn’t the only way to encourage cooperation - in fact, it’s often not even the best way. We’ll teach you to know which type of leverage is most useful in which situations, and how to apply it effectively.   
  
**12-1:45 PM**  
_Lunch_ \- in the Lounge  
  
**2-3:45 PM**  
_Hacking 101_ \- in Conference Room Green  
  
  
| All that ‘physical stuff’ can be so tiresome. We’ll show you how to win wars and influence stocks from the comfort of your keyboard. Pyjamas optional.   
  
_Cost-Benefit Analysis_ \- in Conference Room 6  
  
  
| Gambling isn’t all about cards and dice. We’ll help you weigh the risks and rewards of your plan so you can determine when to pursue your goals, or walk away to cause mayhem another day.   
  
_Fashion Sense_ \- in Conference Room A  
  
  
| Whether your sense of style tends towards Hawaiian shirts of three piece suits, we’ll make sure you present your best self to the world.   
  
**5 PM**  
_Bringing Down the House_  
  
  
| You won’t want to miss our closing ceremony. The demolitions team will be putting on a show promptly at 5. Stragglers still inside the building won’t be joining us for the 28th annual Con-Con.   
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  



End file.
